Conforming is easy but oh so boring.

I had a friend tell me recently, "the person you are right now, is who you are, and you are beautiful". Even with every flaw I feel is so obvious and every problem I think I need to fix within myself, right now, I am who I am, and I have to accept that. Maybe that sounds ridiculous.

People are so easily placed into categories, they are defined, they are labeled. Like items of purchase they allow themselves to be objectified.

I have trouble with fitting into a category and in fact, hate living within a box. Giving myself a definition would be a cage for me. I have never been that "smart girl", or that "pretty girl", or that "nerdy girl". Maybe in other peoples minds I fit a specific category, but to me I'm just Allie. It sickens me how much worth we give people based on where they fit in or who they fit in with. I am not saying that I have never labeled someone or "judged a book by it's cover". In fact, I'm probably the worst at getting to know people before making an opinion up about them. I have opinions about people instantaneously and love when my pre-conceived notions are shattered.

Life should be lived with openness, having firm beliefs, but allowing change when necessary. The soul longs to be free and vulnerable. It is fear that hinders the souls expression and pride that chokes the vulnerability. There is no need to be defined by someone else's terms.

Conforming is easy but oh so boring.

blog time

Great picture right? This man got to ride this terribly awkward bicycle everywhere, and he loved every minute of it.

It's funny how you discover new things about yourself all the time.


For example:
A. I hate talking on the telephone usually. I literally dread calling people back. Why? Because I always hate those silent moments that come between conversation topics, then digging out my brain trying to think of something else to bring up.
B. I really do love The Carpenters.
C. My best friend and I can almost sing all the words to Kid Cudi's "Day n Nite".
D. My favorite movie is 500 Days of Summer next to Edwards Scissor Hands.
E. If I could walk barefoot everywhere I would...except on little rocks...I really like shoes then.
F. I just started singing the alphabet after "E" in order to remember the next letter...wow...just gotta laugh at yourself I guess.
G. I used to want to train seals at Sea World. Still kinda do.
H. My dream instrument to play: Cello
I. I think Notorious BIG has the most beautiful voice...when he's rapping.
J. Chiuauas are starting to grow on me...
K. Im definitely blogging because it is way more fun than writing my Process Analysis Paper.


Anyways I absolutely love uniqueness and origionality. Probably because when God was forming and creating everyone he was inspired by those adjectives (describing words). 


Watch the movie "Thats What I Am"
http://youtu.be/k6R9EFc2mvo
It made me cry my eyes out, and I must share my favorite part.
The young boy asks: "Why would God do that, mom? Make someone look like Big G? So that everyone makes fun of him?"
And she answers, "Maybe because God didn't see anything wrong with him in the first place. And Andy... His name is Stanley."

I think that speaks for itself.

Short and simple tonight...

You and I are here for a reason. Obviously.

Encouragment for the wonderer, but not lost.

 When I'm angry, I write, draw, sing, play my piano, dance etc. I cannot help but release my frustrations through creativity. I feel alive and able to keep going when my feelings are being expressed. This is a part of who I am.  "Do not fall behind, and do not keep your head down."  Writing now, I hear those words. It's as if the only way to deal with being broken down is to build something up. To rise out of the ashes with a song to sing, instead of being buried in the ground, suffocated by past regrets, and woes. I no longer fear the critical words of the world, for though they cut, they do not kill. I am aware that no matter what I say or do there will always be opposition. So with that knowledge I can move forward, not afraid, but equipped.

Belief in a redeemed present, past, and future is what lights the fire for greatness. Though we will never be the people we think we should, we can be the people we are meant to be.

I do not know a lot about  a lot, but I do know enough about some things. I know enough to know that I live in a very ignorant generation.   

We are obsessed with the Artificial, the Irrelevant, and the Empty. 

I for one, am no perfect person. Not a scholar, and limited in my intelligence. My grades could not send me to Yale, and my academic achievement is average. I have yet to find what my calling is, and I wait patiently for the next step in my life to be revealed. There is one important thing I have learned during my short time here on earth. Individually we are all unique and important. My life is important and your life is important. You can emerge from the haunting mist of apathy, and foreboding which blind and aggravate your ingenuity. No longer can the horror of the past, nor the dread of the future hold you  in bondage.

Rise and Shine Together

Lost and Weary soul without a path

Yours and mine Forever

We laugh and wave farewell to the past.

YOU WILL FAIL

Is that an uncomfortable thought? It should not be. From failure we learn, grow, and discover. Can failure actually be a step forward? I believe every mistake and bad choice we have made in the past can be an opportunity. If we actually take the time to assess our failures, with a teachable heart and mind, we can experience transformation, and move forward with deeper understanding.

 Fear not:

In pain

In distress,

In famine,

In war,

In love,

In success,

In failure,

In the future,

In the past,

In poverty,

In wealth,

In finding yourself.

Soon we will all pass away, everything you own, your appearance, and every material possession worth something to you will wither. Presidential elections, television, celebrities, fashion, cars, and money will not last.

Push yourself to be greater,to be kinder, to love deeper. These things will remain, they will not fade. So that when stripped naked, when your appearance is mangled, altered, and no longer acceptable, your soul will burst forth with beauty, passion, and love. Develop into the kind of person you know it will be hard to become. The kind of person you will have to work on, over time, with patience and trial.

Faith, Hope, and Love.

But the greatest of these is love.

I have exactly three Posts that are displayed on this blog right now, and about nine other's that I haven't finished. Tonight I'm just not able to sleep and writing seems to be one of the only ways to let go of everything I'm holding onto so tightly. Insecurity is a scary and all to normal of a trait the people in my generation posses. I pay a lot of attention to the way my friends feel about life, about themselves, and others. We constantly compare and critcize people around us. Of course this is not something to be surprised by. In fact, we have basically been brain-washed into a method of thinking based on scores, records, and scales.

As a girl, I live in a society that is bombarded with faulty answers to question's that are buried deep within a woman's soul.

"Who will love me?"

"How can I be more loveable?"

"Am I beautiful?"

Girls ache for love and acceptance and if they are empty of these neccessities, they will fill themselves with the best nurishment available. Everything we see on television, and through the media gives us answers to these questions, but are virtually dead-ends. Before I logged into my Blogger profile, an advertisement popped up that claimed it could explain, "How to Snag a Man and Keep Him". I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but honestly how long are we going to put up with this crap? Superficial answers to some of the deepest questions found in our hearts. We have been absolutely brain-washed, and desensitized by lies, and false realities. I'm aware that we have all heard the term, "It's what's on the inside that counts." But how many of us have actually believed that? How could we when our entire world is crashing down because we were made fun of in school for being over-weight, having acne, a crooked nose, wearing the same outfit twice in a week, and so many other so-called "flaws" that those little kids on the playground taunted us with. Commercials, TV shows, movies, and other forms of media reveal our insignificance every minute that we watch. How could we possibly believe that we are attractive, important, valuable, when the world screams at us, "NO! If you just had this..."

I think this subject is brought up a lot, but not enough. The lies being pumped into our skulls come no where near the amount of truth that needs to be heard. There is no balance between the negative and positive information we hear today. I'm done listening, it's time to talk back, maybe even shout back. Time to throw a fist in the air, marching forward, without fear towards insecurity, self-hate, and inadequecy. I will not put up with the filth they try to set before me as a banquet that looks good to the eyes, but destroys me on the inside. No longer will I stand for believing that I need to look a certain way, have a particular style, or date the perfect guy to be complete.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's so simple a statement, but so overlooked and needs to become apart of our self understanding. I know for myself that right now is a time of unfolding the lies I have believed about who I am. Jesus is gently peeling off the layers of discontent and self-hate. With the love of Jesus, I am empowered. I do not have a secret recipe, or specific steps to take that will lead you to completely accept yourself.  Re-learning what has been learned for so long is a time consuming process, but a process that is vital to living a life full of love youself and others.  There is freedom from the bondage of our chains in Jesus name. I believe that with all my heart.

I have many more thought on this subject, and there will be more. But for now the beggining of any journey to inner healing begins with one man, one death, and one life...